I don’t feel like posting a poem today, so humor me. Let’s talk about Dutch Schultz instead. Today in 1935, Prohibition-era gangster Dutch Schultz was shot at the Palace Chophouse in Newark, NJ, and died from his wounds after some lengthy and incoherent rambling. His many last words were taken down by a stenographer and even made it into literature 35 years later courtesy of author, William S. Burroughs, and later on Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson found some kind of global conspiracy in the ramblings, as though they weren’t ramblings at all, but some kind of code.

The last words page concludes with these sentiments: “Some say this is everything from the ravings of someone on the brink of death to poetry to secrets of the mob world. You be the judge.”

Well, I don’t think it’s the greatest transcription to ever come down the pike. There are places where the Dutchman is saying “police” that I think he really said “please.” I think he said they “tied” his shoes, not “dyed.” As for “A boy has never wept nor dashed a thousand kim,” maybe he said “stashed.” I don’t have any ideas on what he really said instead of “kim.” I guess the stenographer did the bet job possible under the circumstances, but by the same token, I imagine that it would be a somewhat difficult endeavor to decipher what he was saying. He was mortally wounded, after all, and heavily sedated with morphine.

They say you can connect to just about everyone in 6 degrees, so can you connect to the Dutchman? I’m not really sure if Dutch Schultz actually ever met New Jersey gangster, Longy Zwillman, but if they did, I knew a cousin of Zwillman’s, so if that counts, I connected in a lot less than 6. If not, well, here’s some coincidences at least.

– I was born in the city where he died. My father showed me the place where the Palace Chophouse had been.

– My mom used to sing that Jimmy Valentine song Dutch mentions in his last words.

“Look out look out for little Jimmy Valentine, he’s an old friend of mine” (Mom’s version)

The real words are:

“Look out, look out, look out for Jimmy Valentine
For he’s a pal of mine,
A sentimental crook with a touch that lingers
In his sand-papered fingers
He can find the combination of your pocketbook.
Look out, look out, for when you see his lantern shine
That’s the time to jump right up and shout Help!
He’d steal a horse and cart,
He’d even steal a girlie’s heart
When Jimmy Valentine gets out.”

– “French-Canadian bean soup” was another phrase in his last words, though one could speculate that the stenographer took that down wrong and he meant “pea soup”. Either way, I”m French-Canadian and I like bean soup AND pea soup.

More links:
Who was Jimmy Valentine? Very interesting indeed!
Digging for Dutch: The Search for the Lost Treasure of Dutch Schultz Documentary following the residents of the Catskill Mountains’s quest for the 7 million Dutch supposedly left behind.

Tags: death